On the Upside

I could list a million horrible things about chemo, but that probably wouldn't be very fun to read. So today I'd like to list all the good things about it.

1. First and most obvious, chemo is great at killing cancer cells. I can't even feel the lump under my arm anymore (my lymph node), and the lump in my breast feels smaller, so it must be working!

2. It’s the best weight-loss program I’ve ever been on. The nausea ruins my appetite, and when I do have an appetite, mouth sores make it too painful to eat. I’ve lost 12 pounds since I found out I have cancer, and I’m only 5 pounds away from pre-Jonas weight! All without effort! Look for “The Chemical Diet,” by Sarah Beard, in bookstores next summer.

3. I don’t have to blow-dry my hair. I’ve always hated styling my hair, and now I can just throw on a scarf or scratchy wig and go. I have not been late for anything since I lost my hair.

4. I don’t have to shave, pluck, or wax anything.

5. By eliminating the need for conditioner, root lifter, hairspray, and mousse, our hair product expenses have been reduced by 95.6%. That’s a savings of $283 per year!

6. I have the chance to spend 3 hours every two weeks just sitting in a recliner reading a good book. Sure, I've got an IV attached the entire time, but at least I can get through 5 chapters without being interrupted.

Okay, that's all the good things about chemo I can think of. If you think of any more, please post them. Thanks!