I had my first Taxol treatment on Friday, and my blood counts had dropped so low that they said if they don't come back up by my next treatment I will need a blood transfusion (O+, anyone?). While hooked up to the IV my mom called to let me know she was on her way to the instacare because my 4-year-old got a bead stuck up his nose. Luckily my brother Dan was there to mow my lawn when it happened, so he helped her with the other kids while Jonas had the bead removed. So I stressed for a few minutes, but once everything was taken care of, I succumbed to the Benadryl in my IV and drifted off to sleep for a bit. Then they gave me some steroids, followed by the Taxol. I didn’t have any side effects from the Taxol while they were giving it to me, but that night I started having tightness in my chest. I still had it the next day, so we had to go to the ER and get a CAT scan to rule out a blood clot. Then Saturday night I got a temperature, so I’m now taking antibiotics. Other than that, I think the Taxol is easier than the A/C. I’m having some bone pain and fatigue, but the nausea is minimal.
I'm trying so hard to stay positive and to remember my blessings, but the treatments are wearing on me emotionally. I suddenly have a high water table and I have been crying all the time. The nurse in the ER asked me about my kids, and I just burst into tears. I am glad Keith was there with me to smile at me, or I probably wouldn't have been able to stop crying. But I am so frustrated by the limitations the treatments put on me, and it is so depressing to not be able to be the mother and wife that I want to be.
So on a note of negativity, let me attempt some positivity. I am grateful my sickness is temporary. There are people out there who have life-long illnesses and disabilities, and my illness (hopefully) will only last a year or so. My family is healthy. I have three wonderful little boys and a wonderful, patient husband who loves me. I have food on my table (even if I don't feel like eating it), and clean water to drink. I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back. I have the knowledge of the gospel, which if applied, can help me through anything. My husband has a good job, we have good benefits. Countless people have helped us with meals, childcare, and expenses, and I know there are people out there who have to suffer this type of thing alone. So, I need to be more grateful!!!
What a blessing to have Keith in your life. He is a great husband and support!! You married right!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad that this treatment regimen might be a little easier on you. How is Keith holding up? Kids? They always look so cheerful it's hard to believe that you're all going through something like this. It's so good to read your updates.
ReplyDeleteWasn't that considerate of Jonas to give you something else to think about while having your treatments. It is a fact that you have the most adorable family. I'm so sad you have to go thru all this!! Thank you for the courage you have to share it with others. We are praying so hard for your well being. Love you!!
ReplyDeleteI thinks its okay to think this trial is not easy, because it is not, but I think generally speaking you have such an upbeat spirt and attitude. I saw this youtube video and thought of you.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbsU3b2srQA
You are still in my prayers
-Krystal
Thanks, Krystal. I watched the youtube video, then went to lds.org and watched the entire talk. It was exactly what I needed to hear!
ReplyDeleteSarah, The master Physician knows exactly what we need to become strong--that's why he sent the cancer into your life. I have no doubt you feel the pain of growth. Though your body feels weak, he is strenghtening your spirit. What is happening to you is actually a great blessing and is not only helping you, but is and will be a great blessing to your family too. I am so thrilled at the great love and support you have, especially your family. Be of good cheer Sarah--He has overcome the world and He will help you overcome this. Love, Shirleen Bolduc
ReplyDeleteI know you think that you are being negative, but you have the okay to be so. The good thing is, you always have a smidge of positive in you, somewhere. The great thing is, that smidge will begin to grow again! As soon as you make it through this horrible treatment, your cell count and your positivity will increase at about the same rate, I bet! By the way, I am almost sure that I am O+, so if you need a little, I am pretty sure I have some to spare :) Let me know!
ReplyDeletep.s. Haven't figured this blogging thing out completely. princessmommy is me, monica! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteHi Sarah! I'm sorry I haven't read your blog in forever! I haven't read any blogs in forever. I know this was a long time ago, but I still wanted to comment on it. You are such an example to me of facing trials with a good attitude. Thank you for your wonderful example of grace under fire. I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend. But I am O+! And Rob is O-. So let us know if you need our blood! :)
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