One More...

I know, I've been really bad about updating my blog. So here's a quick update:

I had the same reaction to the Abraxane as I did with the Taxol - chest tightness, itchiness, etc. So they had me go to the ER last Monday to make sure it wasn't anything serious. They did an EKG, chest x-rays, and some blood tests, and everything looked normal, so I got to go home. I talked with my doctor this week about it and he said they are going to go ahead and use Abraxane again for my last treatment, but they are going to load me up with benadryl and steroids to try to avoid the allergic reaction. So if you see me or talk to me in the next couple weeks, watch out - the steroids make me completely nuts (Keith can vouch for that - dear, patient soul).

I've felt pretty good these last couple weeks, though not quite normal. The chest pain comes and goes, my toes are constantly numb, and it occasionally feels like I am being stabbed in random places with a twisting, serrated knife (actually not as painful as it sounds). But I feel a million times better than I did during the first half of my treatments. No nausea, less fatigue, and I've been able to keep my kids at home with me.

Emotionally, I've been doing great. There are still days when I get scared and cry a lot, but most days I feel hopeful and happy, and I try to go through the day as if I am not battling a life-threatning illness. I try not to fear all the things that "could" happen in the future, but instead try to take things one day at a time. After all, we do not live in the "what if." We live in the "now." So we should cherish and make good use of the "now" instead of being paralyzed by the "what if's" that will most likely never happen.

One more treatment! I am so excited to be done with chemo! November is going to be a great month. My last treatment is on the 13th, then I'm going to see New Moon with a bunch of girls on the 21st (make fun of me if you want), then I'm going to see David Archuleta with Keith on the 24th (yes, another reason to make fun of me), then I get to see a bunch of my family on Thanksgiving. Life is good. Life is wonderful. Life is precious.